A week from now, I'll be gone
few thousand miles away to a foreign land
to renew my memories, to make new one,
to make something out of nothing.
A week from now, I'll be thinking
How amazing these few months has been,
that new months are ahead of me
is a mystery i do not want to unfold.
A week from now,I'll be missing
the nasi lemak and the wantan mee,
my character i left in the virtual world,
and my daily doze of fix i left behind.
A week from now, i'll be hoping
That when i return back from my holidays,
i'll be much stronger than i was before,
and free from the chains i put myself in.
A week from now seems like a year
How i wish i can just put myself where time doesnt exist
Or where a place that nobody knew who i was
Just an average Joe with nothing to prove.
Monday, July 09, 2007
Wednesday, July 04, 2007
I love Malaysia!!!!
Renewed my passport today and to my suprise, the immigration department was living up to its motto "MESRA, AMANAH DAN TEGAS dan KHIDMAT DENGAN SENYUMAN"
The service was good and efficient as compare to many bad experiences before hand and i must say, they are still good ones around.
Those that deserve to be shot at are the ones with no moral constitution to care about others. How hard is it to follow a simple mindset of keeping quiet in the cinema?
We're not leaving in a stone age nor are we not well educated in our country. Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with this people? Are they acting dumb or did their parents drop them when they were a baby? Retards. I didn't spend 10 bucks to hear your pussy giggle or ur gayish conversation with your friend. If i need narration, i can read from the fucking screen. Mahgehaichaocibai.
I don't usually get tick off easily, but yesterday my blood was boiling up to my head that i had to keep reminding myself not to make a scene out of it because it's Transformers.
A piss-off stare obviously didn't work.
A verbal insult didn't work either.
So maybe a whack in the head ought to do the trick next time.
It's really saddening to even claim that we're in a developing country. With people like that, i don't think we're going anywhere far.
If you don't know what I'm talking about, go figure out who runs the country.
Thankiew for ruining my movie. Thankiew for the wonderful scent from your feet. Thankiew for making another reason to hate 'you' even more.
Ciows
The service was good and efficient as compare to many bad experiences before hand and i must say, they are still good ones around.
Those that deserve to be shot at are the ones with no moral constitution to care about others. How hard is it to follow a simple mindset of keeping quiet in the cinema?
We're not leaving in a stone age nor are we not well educated in our country. Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with this people? Are they acting dumb or did their parents drop them when they were a baby? Retards. I didn't spend 10 bucks to hear your pussy giggle or ur gayish conversation with your friend. If i need narration, i can read from the fucking screen. Mahgehaichaocibai.
I don't usually get tick off easily, but yesterday my blood was boiling up to my head that i had to keep reminding myself not to make a scene out of it because it's Transformers.
A piss-off stare obviously didn't work.
A verbal insult didn't work either.
So maybe a whack in the head ought to do the trick next time.
It's really saddening to even claim that we're in a developing country. With people like that, i don't think we're going anywhere far.
If you don't know what I'm talking about, go figure out who runs the country.
Thankiew for ruining my movie. Thankiew for the wonderful scent from your feet. Thankiew for making another reason to hate 'you' even more.
Ciows
Sunday, July 01, 2007
Missing Sunshine
It's funny how we relate our life with the world.
like how we see dark clouds hovering on top of our head
signalling a disastrous day
or how we associate rain as a blanket of sanctuary
that when you cry, nobody knows.
and I was once told that when it rains, it is actually angels crying from heaven.
How naive right?
I'm not sad nor depress. Hey my holidays are coming, i should be hopping around like the mad dinosaur instead of sulking in front of the monitor. Right?
It's just July. A month of challenges and bleeding.
A day has gone and i already felt lost. It's not the greatest of feeling and definitely not a pleasant 1 to be in. My fix is temporary gone and I long for it. It's getting addictive, at least emotionally, and I'm in a sucker's position to understand what's really going on. I know, and yet I pursue; eventhough i know i'll be rooted to the ground with thorns piercing through the heart.
I'm making memories out of nothing. Memories i will carry with me till the day you decide to pull my hand away or placed it close to your heart. Either way, you have my blessings.
I planned to write in jargons only I understand, but I figured out if i do, i'll be bombarded with even more headaches.
Shine through my clouds,
Carry away my melancholy,
Flood me with hope,
Shower me with affection.
Oh Transformers,
Thrill me with carburetor,
Bury me in nuts and bolts.
Gratify me with your sexy smoke.
=) it's going to be a long week, happy transforming!
like how we see dark clouds hovering on top of our head
signalling a disastrous day
or how we associate rain as a blanket of sanctuary
that when you cry, nobody knows.
and I was once told that when it rains, it is actually angels crying from heaven.
How naive right?
I'm not sad nor depress. Hey my holidays are coming, i should be hopping around like the mad dinosaur instead of sulking in front of the monitor. Right?
It's just July. A month of challenges and bleeding.
A day has gone and i already felt lost. It's not the greatest of feeling and definitely not a pleasant 1 to be in. My fix is temporary gone and I long for it. It's getting addictive, at least emotionally, and I'm in a sucker's position to understand what's really going on. I know, and yet I pursue; eventhough i know i'll be rooted to the ground with thorns piercing through the heart.
I'm making memories out of nothing. Memories i will carry with me till the day you decide to pull my hand away or placed it close to your heart. Either way, you have my blessings.
I planned to write in jargons only I understand, but I figured out if i do, i'll be bombarded with even more headaches.
Shine through my clouds,
Carry away my melancholy,
Flood me with hope,
Shower me with affection.
Oh Transformers,
Thrill me with carburetor,
Bury me in nuts and bolts.
Gratify me with your sexy smoke.
=) it's going to be a long week, happy transforming!
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Setting sail, yet again.
Time and time again, I constantly remind myself that everyone around me ought to be happy.
From the stranger who thinks you're weird when you exchange friendly gesture, to the salesman that go table to table trying to convince patrons for a small amount of money or perhaps a friend who've just experience a bad day to a family member who just went through a rough patch.
Inevitably, some part of me want them to be happy even if it means sacrificing part of mine. Whether it's an act of a fool, or some might see it as a feat to gain pity ness and compassion.
How you see it is up to you. I can't control how you see me or how you judge me at all. I don't intend to play God either. I just want happiness to spread around me.
If there's a bill billed to me about the things I do that made another person sad, I'm definitely bound to recieve capital punishment for it.
Pleasing yourself is easy, a large pepperoni pizza and a few mugs of beer would do the trick. But pleasing those around you takes more than just a pizza and alcohol. It takes time, sincerity and in the end, it doesn't guarantee success either.
I'm trying to extend my sincere apology but no matter how I look at it, It's never enough.
Words are cheap and the word 'Sorry' is ever so often taken for granted. If i were to kneel down with tears rolling down my cheek, you wouldn't think it's sincere because the damage has already been done.
No matter how I twist and turn or look sideways to it, what's done is done. That's the obvious fact.
We don't need gifts or roses to say we're sorry; maybe just maybe sometimes a hug does help, but still, how long before it happen again, before we repeat ourselves in commiting the apology act over again?
The lesson here is not to repeat the same mistake because once is enough and twice is just making a fool out of myself. My mistake before was running away whenever something bad happen. Then i realize it's just a matter of time before the truth actually catches up with you.
I still have to face it.
Consequently, I stopped running. Because you taught me too.
And here I am, trying to be optimistic, trying not to be a complete fool, telling the truth on a page where everyone can read.
So the truth is, that i find it hard telling you in person. The truth that has been hiding inside of me itching to crawl out from my tonsils and coming out of as words.
I always hope that one day, when i've gathered enough courage to tell you, it would be different, not through some dreadful words on a monitor screen, but somewhat perfectly fit moment like what we see in sappy romantic movies.
Then again, I do not wish to be playing second fiddle, so I've decided to sail away for now.
Great things happened when I least expect it to, and I've not had any tiny thoughts of regret spending every moment with you, not even the slightest. Because for once in many years, I've never felt so belong before. You made it go away in just a breeze. Thank you.
I doubt I can find anyone like you anytime soon, but nevertheless, I'll never stop looking for someone as great as you.
So for now, I hope that we still remain who we are, and who knows,perhaps one day, things would just be slighly different.
You'll always have a place in my heart, my dear friend.
Always.
From the stranger who thinks you're weird when you exchange friendly gesture, to the salesman that go table to table trying to convince patrons for a small amount of money or perhaps a friend who've just experience a bad day to a family member who just went through a rough patch.
Inevitably, some part of me want them to be happy even if it means sacrificing part of mine. Whether it's an act of a fool, or some might see it as a feat to gain pity ness and compassion.
How you see it is up to you. I can't control how you see me or how you judge me at all. I don't intend to play God either. I just want happiness to spread around me.
If there's a bill billed to me about the things I do that made another person sad, I'm definitely bound to recieve capital punishment for it.
Pleasing yourself is easy, a large pepperoni pizza and a few mugs of beer would do the trick. But pleasing those around you takes more than just a pizza and alcohol. It takes time, sincerity and in the end, it doesn't guarantee success either.
I'm trying to extend my sincere apology but no matter how I look at it, It's never enough.
Words are cheap and the word 'Sorry' is ever so often taken for granted. If i were to kneel down with tears rolling down my cheek, you wouldn't think it's sincere because the damage has already been done.
No matter how I twist and turn or look sideways to it, what's done is done. That's the obvious fact.
We don't need gifts or roses to say we're sorry; maybe just maybe sometimes a hug does help, but still, how long before it happen again, before we repeat ourselves in commiting the apology act over again?
The lesson here is not to repeat the same mistake because once is enough and twice is just making a fool out of myself. My mistake before was running away whenever something bad happen. Then i realize it's just a matter of time before the truth actually catches up with you.
I still have to face it.
Consequently, I stopped running. Because you taught me too.
And here I am, trying to be optimistic, trying not to be a complete fool, telling the truth on a page where everyone can read.
So the truth is, that i find it hard telling you in person. The truth that has been hiding inside of me itching to crawl out from my tonsils and coming out of as words.
I always hope that one day, when i've gathered enough courage to tell you, it would be different, not through some dreadful words on a monitor screen, but somewhat perfectly fit moment like what we see in sappy romantic movies.
Then again, I do not wish to be playing second fiddle, so I've decided to sail away for now.
Great things happened when I least expect it to, and I've not had any tiny thoughts of regret spending every moment with you, not even the slightest. Because for once in many years, I've never felt so belong before. You made it go away in just a breeze. Thank you.
I doubt I can find anyone like you anytime soon, but nevertheless, I'll never stop looking for someone as great as you.
So for now, I hope that we still remain who we are, and who knows,perhaps one day, things would just be slighly different.
You'll always have a place in my heart, my dear friend.
Always.
Sunday, June 17, 2007
Spur of the Moment
Every once in a while, right in middle of an ordinary life, when ur life is not getting any better, u tend to look for a spark. A snap of a finger that says "hey, it's alright, that's life"
I wish everything around works that way, just pure simplicity.
As far as I know, what we imagine is a whole load of crap. Life is about digging deep, climbing obstacle, getting emotional turmoil and hoping that one day things would get better. Sooner or later, anyway will do, just better. And if you just might feel lucky, everything falls neatly into places.
I envy it. I desire it.
PS: Just to kill off the curiosity, the tiny thing between the fingers is NOT what you think it is! I'm NOT that DISGUSTING!
Monday, June 11, 2007
Second fiddle
A true champion is one who's not afraid to lose, but dare to dream. Dare to take chances and never leave room for doubts.
But what creates an outstanding champ is that they don't play second string to another champion. They simply take pride of what they do, cream of the crop.
I have dreams to achieve greater heights, live at will, be the pioneer and lead the way. The basic fundamentals of a leader. One who takes control and pilot.
Yes, i wish to have all these. To have people listen while you engineer the whole plan.
I'm afraid that my ego will swallow me up one day. So momentous that i fall short and when i look back to catch up on my past it's too far behind. Too late to salvage what's left.
I'm fearful that I may lose my mind striving for a dying hope. An inconvenient truth of a cat and mouse game.
The chase is about to end, because i know for once it was so clear, that I'm always playing second fiddle to many things in life.
And God forbid me, from hating myself, I have to. A selfish senseless decision that smashes my guarded heart into pieces.
I wanna lead. I wanna be in front. I want to stop chasing. I know eventually, i will get there. It's just a matter of time again. This pact remind me of who am I , where I stand because I know if I would to appear again in a different time or life, it will definitely be different.
Right now, i'm goin to stop playing second fiddle. Right here, I'm goin to guard my heart.
Just a piece of mind i wish to share out.
Thursday, June 07, 2007
Old tune
I can picture myself lying on the beach with my sunnies and a cold mug of beer on 1 hand or warm sand sipping through my toes like walking on a stretch of silky pathway. The imagination part alone is enough to make my heart run so wild as if I'm reaching an orgasm.
Maybe not to that intense la, but still...i can't wait !
Only a month and 7 days before my heavenly escapade to Bali and while most of you are stuck in that working chair of yours staring at the flickering monitor from 9 till 5, I will be staring at God made beauty for a whole week. (No I'm not refering to the guy!! u aint no beauty to me, hehehe please dun kick me out from the room)
Anyhow,not trying to make u corporate slaves jealous la, but i really need this break ! and anyone of you who are willing to fork out airtickets to Bali, u are always welcome to join us. There's still room to sleep. *coughtoiletcough*
wait the toilet has jacuzzi ! no way u're getting near there!
I do believe that some songs are strong enough to inspire a person. Some songs that you listen over and over again it somehow stays with you through bleak moments,and some songs u just grow old with.
Songs and people,they are very much alike. They represent people.
Like if you hear a particular song, it reminds you of someone. Of course if it happens to suit the ear, you'll listen till the very last verse, and the obvious is to skip the track if it brings back bad memories.
I have my fair share of songs for people that i care about. Songs that followed me through depths of hell, and songs that never fail to bring back the smile. Maybe i'll compiled them up just for keepsake.
I'm 24 plus and in a few days time,a quarter of a century old. Yea tell me about it. Just stating it first so you guys can stop reminding me that I'm OLD ! I'm AGED! or in better words, im not getting any younger now , I feel the pinch everysingle second.
But, thank God that white hair is still not visible now, but eventually, it WILL pop out. and I'll start losing hair, I'll get wrinkled up, getting more irritated, deafening and start being more attractive. The prime age is kicking in !
Girls just dig older guys, especially matured 1s with white hair and face of an after effect botox injection. I don't know why, but i do hope that someone would just enlighten me on this.
It will be a quiet 1 this year. No budget to spend like a rich brat as holiday is coming soon and i intend to 'accidently' spend all my cash in Bali.
yea, saddening but true.
ciow peeps
Maybe not to that intense la, but still...i can't wait !
Only a month and 7 days before my heavenly escapade to Bali and while most of you are stuck in that working chair of yours staring at the flickering monitor from 9 till 5, I will be staring at God made beauty for a whole week. (No I'm not refering to the guy!! u aint no beauty to me, hehehe please dun kick me out from the room)
Anyhow,not trying to make u corporate slaves jealous la, but i really need this break ! and anyone of you who are willing to fork out airtickets to Bali, u are always welcome to join us. There's still room to sleep. *coughtoiletcough*
wait the toilet has jacuzzi ! no way u're getting near there!
I do believe that some songs are strong enough to inspire a person. Some songs that you listen over and over again it somehow stays with you through bleak moments,and some songs u just grow old with.
Songs and people,they are very much alike. They represent people.
Like if you hear a particular song, it reminds you of someone. Of course if it happens to suit the ear, you'll listen till the very last verse, and the obvious is to skip the track if it brings back bad memories.
I have my fair share of songs for people that i care about. Songs that followed me through depths of hell, and songs that never fail to bring back the smile. Maybe i'll compiled them up just for keepsake.
I'm 24 plus and in a few days time,a quarter of a century old. Yea tell me about it. Just stating it first so you guys can stop reminding me that I'm OLD ! I'm AGED! or in better words, im not getting any younger now , I feel the pinch everysingle second.
But, thank God that white hair is still not visible now, but eventually, it WILL pop out. and I'll start losing hair, I'll get wrinkled up, getting more irritated, deafening and start being more attractive. The prime age is kicking in !
Girls just dig older guys, especially matured 1s with white hair and face of an after effect botox injection. I don't know why, but i do hope that someone would just enlighten me on this.
It will be a quiet 1 this year. No budget to spend like a rich brat as holiday is coming soon and i intend to 'accidently' spend all my cash in Bali.
yea, saddening but true.
ciow peeps
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Matter of time
God it's good to see you smile
I see you reaching for your keys
Looking for a reason not to leaveI can't do what i do if it's you
I can't do what i do if we're throughI knew her look from behind
I knew her smile from aboveThese barrier they seem so high
Tiring enough to gaze the height
Mystery lies beyond the wall
Will i get answer if i try hard enough?
Words , they seem so cheap
But can meant a thousand grace.
Staring deeply into your eyes
Fell into a charming spellbind.
Hey girl, I miss you not once
Priceless ones are from within.
You leave me with a heavy heart
Everytime we fail to bid goodbye.
Sunday, May 27, 2007
Guess i couldn't resist the temptation to make an entry. this place give me a shelter and a chance to be me.
I actually miss not having it.
Feels like a yoyo these days, happy, sad, grateful, contented, dissapointment, and happy back again. Such a mixture only leave me with greater confusion. A prayer keeps the mind calm and focus, make no room for hesitation and regrets. Trust me, the power of prayer are beyond words.
Let's hope it stays that way for many years to come.
Things are clearer now and should be heading to a better side of the fence. I'm only afraid that the fence on the other side is not as green as i thought it would be. I find myself pretty demanding at times. I want to, but afraid to, if you know what i mean.
i wonder what will life be without your existence? or will i be who i am right now? or will i ever meet someone so amazing as u are?
then i realized that answers to some questions are best not answered. I categorize it under the mysterious of life answer.
I don't wanna know the answers, because i believe u appeared for a reason, and knowing the answers will just defeat the purpose. U pick me up when i was down, showed me all the reason to smile. what more can I ask for.
This journey could never happened at a better time. I can never think of a better time than knowing u earlier somewhere else. And i've already boarded the ship. I admit. I love being on board.
You can say i naik kapal for all i care! The difference between a kapal and a kapal terbang is , when u decided to jump overboard, u survive, and u swim. You swim as hard as you can to find a shore.
=)
Aside from that, the most dissapointing point is when a friend tells you he's different now. That he choose. What made you think you're so different that the friendship between us is merely something u can toy with? Coming from you is such a dissapointment. All I hope for is a room to forgive and i do not want these friendship to just vanish into thin air. Words are cheap, I know, so another thing i wanna say to you is do whatever you want as long as you're happy !
There you go, a whole month of rant sardine into an entry.
I love the day the sunshine sip through the bubbles and shed light into our .........
I actually miss not having it.
Feels like a yoyo these days, happy, sad, grateful, contented, dissapointment, and happy back again. Such a mixture only leave me with greater confusion. A prayer keeps the mind calm and focus, make no room for hesitation and regrets. Trust me, the power of prayer are beyond words.
Let's hope it stays that way for many years to come.
Things are clearer now and should be heading to a better side of the fence. I'm only afraid that the fence on the other side is not as green as i thought it would be. I find myself pretty demanding at times. I want to, but afraid to, if you know what i mean.
i wonder what will life be without your existence? or will i be who i am right now? or will i ever meet someone so amazing as u are?
then i realized that answers to some questions are best not answered. I categorize it under the mysterious of life answer.
I don't wanna know the answers, because i believe u appeared for a reason, and knowing the answers will just defeat the purpose. U pick me up when i was down, showed me all the reason to smile. what more can I ask for.
This journey could never happened at a better time. I can never think of a better time than knowing u earlier somewhere else. And i've already boarded the ship. I admit. I love being on board.
You can say i naik kapal for all i care! The difference between a kapal and a kapal terbang is , when u decided to jump overboard, u survive, and u swim. You swim as hard as you can to find a shore.
=)
Aside from that, the most dissapointing point is when a friend tells you he's different now. That he choose. What made you think you're so different that the friendship between us is merely something u can toy with? Coming from you is such a dissapointment. All I hope for is a room to forgive and i do not want these friendship to just vanish into thin air. Words are cheap, I know, so another thing i wanna say to you is do whatever you want as long as you're happy !
There you go, a whole month of rant sardine into an entry.
I love the day the sunshine sip through the bubbles and shed light into our .........
Saturday, May 26, 2007
...
we do not get unlimited chances to have the things we want, and this i know..
but nothing is worse than missing an opportunity that could've changed your life
but nothing is worse than missing an opportunity that could've changed your life
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Sunday, May 06, 2007
Staying +
I find the phrase "just forget what happened today" the most deceiving crap ever.
Only applicable if your mental state of mind is made out of plugs and wire.
You cannot forget, but you can definitely move on. Moving on takes time and it's not like something where u can seal it in a bottle and throw it in the sea. It take days and months and for rare cases like mine , i wait for something better to come along.
I slipped and never imagine myself being so horribly wrong in my doings. There is no regrets and it happened. I can't fix the damage but i know on my case i will never ever be so wrong anymore. Anymore.
I made a pact to keep myself from going down and stay sane. I've decided that certain things are made for one another and I have no intention to change the course. It can never change the fact that whatever you do as long as you're happy, it's okay. I shift to maintain what I have now, and i hope it work out.
Im going to stay positive and stop hoping. Ive decided to close the door and leave room to breath. A small hole doesn't hurt as much as giving a whole door. And thank you for bringing Him back to me. I talked,He listened. More than I can ever bargain for.
Break. I'm so hoping for 1 now. July please be around the corner.
Only applicable if your mental state of mind is made out of plugs and wire.
You cannot forget, but you can definitely move on. Moving on takes time and it's not like something where u can seal it in a bottle and throw it in the sea. It take days and months and for rare cases like mine , i wait for something better to come along.
I slipped and never imagine myself being so horribly wrong in my doings. There is no regrets and it happened. I can't fix the damage but i know on my case i will never ever be so wrong anymore. Anymore.
I made a pact to keep myself from going down and stay sane. I've decided that certain things are made for one another and I have no intention to change the course. It can never change the fact that whatever you do as long as you're happy, it's okay. I shift to maintain what I have now, and i hope it work out.
Im going to stay positive and stop hoping. Ive decided to close the door and leave room to breath. A small hole doesn't hurt as much as giving a whole door. And thank you for bringing Him back to me. I talked,He listened. More than I can ever bargain for.
Break. I'm so hoping for 1 now. July please be around the corner.
Saturday, May 05, 2007
Ten Queues
My mind is as clear as the sky tonite.
The wisest of words came spontaneously and points are well taken down. I'm really grateful for the advice given and it couldnt be anymore clearer than putting my legs back on the ground.
Thank you for telling me it's not wrong and asking me to believe that happiness comes from doing as much as you can and not regretting it at the end of the day.
Thank you for telling me not to dive deeper or swim away but to follow where the current flows and hope it lands somewhere.
Thank you for telling me that it's rare to find someone you can click so well with and don't ever leave any room for ignorance.
Thank you for telling me not to take things for granted and giving me back the sense of believing and what I'm capable of doing.
Thank you for being a friend and stop being so busy with work and forget what we are actually missing out on.
Haha. Had a great night and looking forward so much for my meal ! ;)
I'm going to prove that having an entry in my blog is not only when I'm sad.
Have a great weekend !
The wisest of words came spontaneously and points are well taken down. I'm really grateful for the advice given and it couldnt be anymore clearer than putting my legs back on the ground.
Thank you for telling me it's not wrong and asking me to believe that happiness comes from doing as much as you can and not regretting it at the end of the day.
Thank you for telling me not to dive deeper or swim away but to follow where the current flows and hope it lands somewhere.
Thank you for telling me that it's rare to find someone you can click so well with and don't ever leave any room for ignorance.
Thank you for telling me not to take things for granted and giving me back the sense of believing and what I'm capable of doing.
Thank you for being a friend and stop being so busy with work and forget what we are actually missing out on.
Haha. Had a great night and looking forward so much for my meal ! ;)
I'm going to prove that having an entry in my blog is not only when I'm sad.
Have a great weekend !
Saturday, April 28, 2007
I-Know-I-Made-You-Think-I-Don't.....
You know that sinking feeling of getting up early in the morning ,dragging urself to work and knwing that there's nothing to look forward to?
Feels like being buried in bertimbun-timbun of shit. Disastrous, demotivated and constantly gazing at the clock watching every tiny tick counts.
Backside itchy, went to Groove Junction yesternight to experience jazz music =). Suprisingly, it was totally unexpected and i left the place with good memories. If you picture it to be a dark cosy environment with candlelight lid on every round table, 0r a place to pour the soul out, think again!
I couldn't believe the community of jazz lovers could be such an overwhelm. Well, maybe i jump into conclusion too quickly there, but seriously, it will blow your mind away. The singing, the musicians are simply amazing. They can just be better than an ordinary rock band, anyfuking time.
Plus, the ladies drool over them -.-
Thanks to 5 love ladies, we get to sit in the jam packed bistro. Thanks again , and u know who u are ;) Blog stalker.. ehehe
I had a splendid evening and it has been ages since i last felt such way. It's a weird addiction in such a manner that i'm so looking forward to the next one. Maybe i'm deprived from the opposite sex for far too long and when something wonderful like this came into the picture, it was too much to resist. There are times where i kept reminding myself that it's too good to be true and feels like a dang good dream.
A dream that i would rather not wake up to. A dream that i would rather live in.
But i know, sooner or later, i will wake up. Back to a place where the only common thing we share is just the sky. And that time comes...
have mercy on me and spare me the tears.
Feels like being buried in bertimbun-timbun of shit. Disastrous, demotivated and constantly gazing at the clock watching every tiny tick counts.
Backside itchy, went to Groove Junction yesternight to experience jazz music =). Suprisingly, it was totally unexpected and i left the place with good memories. If you picture it to be a dark cosy environment with candlelight lid on every round table, 0r a place to pour the soul out, think again!
I couldn't believe the community of jazz lovers could be such an overwhelm. Well, maybe i jump into conclusion too quickly there, but seriously, it will blow your mind away. The singing, the musicians are simply amazing. They can just be better than an ordinary rock band, anyfuking time.
Plus, the ladies drool over them -.-
Thanks to 5 love ladies, we get to sit in the jam packed bistro. Thanks again , and u know who u are ;) Blog stalker.. ehehe
I had a splendid evening and it has been ages since i last felt such way. It's a weird addiction in such a manner that i'm so looking forward to the next one. Maybe i'm deprived from the opposite sex for far too long and when something wonderful like this came into the picture, it was too much to resist. There are times where i kept reminding myself that it's too good to be true and feels like a dang good dream.
A dream that i would rather not wake up to. A dream that i would rather live in.
But i know, sooner or later, i will wake up. Back to a place where the only common thing we share is just the sky. And that time comes...
have mercy on me and spare me the tears.
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Believing
A day before , for 6 years i was not the man i used to be.
The lingering thoughts of regret kept playing like a broken record.
Not till recently when the weight was lifted and if you were to guess it, it would be her.
So like many years before, i took the initiative to drop a wishful message on her big day and as usual, she would say thanks.
These year however, took a twist.
It made me smile for i know that at least my thoughtful actions ended up somewhere.
I realized that i'm filled with emotions lately, and the very least i know i'm walking on a steady ground and what im actually dealing with. I have needs and the hunger that drives me to achieve this needs are beyond words that i contradict myself most of the time.
The good thing is im opening up now,one thing i find hard to do for a long time. I've been spilling out skeletons in my closet to one person I wish i knew earlier. I know she wont agree with me on this and time isn't the best thing to look forward to.
Everyday, i kept reminding myself how lucky i am to have my family, my bros, my friends and recently that person who made me realise what i've been missing out.
I guess It's never too late to start believing.
Many of u who knew me would know that sometimes i drift away. I drift away from the things i love because i know and learn that nothing is permanent. I try not to get attached to things i love solely because i know i will be deeply scarred if i were to lose it.
A minor slip, a mistake, whatever, i will not feel the same again because deep down i do care. Very hard to please am I?
When i said don't treat me so nice, i actually meant i'm scared. im afraid of changes, im afraid to lose the thing that made me believe i had a purpose the next morning. It made me a dysfunctional creepy person. I'm sure i made alot of girls ran away because of this. Honestly, nothing to be proud of here.
Yea, and if you're having a rough day, try looking at a sleeping baby. Suprisingly, it keeps the mind calm.
Works for me .
The lingering thoughts of regret kept playing like a broken record.
Not till recently when the weight was lifted and if you were to guess it, it would be her.
So like many years before, i took the initiative to drop a wishful message on her big day and as usual, she would say thanks.
These year however, took a twist.
It made me smile for i know that at least my thoughtful actions ended up somewhere.
I realized that i'm filled with emotions lately, and the very least i know i'm walking on a steady ground and what im actually dealing with. I have needs and the hunger that drives me to achieve this needs are beyond words that i contradict myself most of the time.
The good thing is im opening up now,one thing i find hard to do for a long time. I've been spilling out skeletons in my closet to one person I wish i knew earlier. I know she wont agree with me on this and time isn't the best thing to look forward to.
Everyday, i kept reminding myself how lucky i am to have my family, my bros, my friends and recently that person who made me realise what i've been missing out.
I guess It's never too late to start believing.
Many of u who knew me would know that sometimes i drift away. I drift away from the things i love because i know and learn that nothing is permanent. I try not to get attached to things i love solely because i know i will be deeply scarred if i were to lose it.
A minor slip, a mistake, whatever, i will not feel the same again because deep down i do care. Very hard to please am I?
When i said don't treat me so nice, i actually meant i'm scared. im afraid of changes, im afraid to lose the thing that made me believe i had a purpose the next morning. It made me a dysfunctional creepy person. I'm sure i made alot of girls ran away because of this. Honestly, nothing to be proud of here.
Yea, and if you're having a rough day, try looking at a sleeping baby. Suprisingly, it keeps the mind calm.
Works for me .
Monday, April 16, 2007
Dumbstruck
Have you ever been in love?
Horrible isn't it?
It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up.
You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...
You give them a piece of you.
They didn't ask for it.
They did something dumb one day, like smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore.
Love takes hostages.
It gets inside you.
It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart.
It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind.
It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain.
I hate love
Horrible isn't it?
It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up.
You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...
You give them a piece of you.
They didn't ask for it.
They did something dumb one day, like smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore.
Love takes hostages.
It gets inside you.
It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart.
It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind.
It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain.
I hate love
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Stagnant
i follow the religion of Love
a wrong mix of crowd
many-named many flew
all in the nature of Fear
my beloved is three
three yet only one
many things appear in three
which are no more than one
nights i normally sleep
awaken by the silent weep
feelings shouldnt find speed
the more u speed the more u bleed
Short rope of hope
Falls short on grip
my will against my whole
alone against my will
a wrong mix of crowd
many-named many flew
all in the nature of Fear
my beloved is three
three yet only one
many things appear in three
which are no more than one
nights i normally sleep
awaken by the silent weep
feelings shouldnt find speed
the more u speed the more u bleed
Short rope of hope
Falls short on grip
my will against my whole
alone against my will
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
A blessing
I'm infected with the "not-so-keen-2-update-anymore" syndrome.
I have been awfully lazy nowadays and yes you don't have to remind me.
Life's good, at least for me and no complains yet, i hope.
My new found colleagues have been nothing but amazing. Click so well the time is so insignificant. I hope it last for a very long time. M stuck between a fine line between principles and reality. It's really giving me a big headache and I know it's a dead end. I hope something pops up and shed some light to guide a lost soul from walking blindly to a garden of rose. You know those moments when everything feels just right, nothing more nothing less, perfectly time but you know that the outcome will just be another sunset. Distinctively beautiful and can't hold on to.
I'll just sleep with it.
Weekend's gonna be great. M going to attend a friend's wedding of same age. My first time, and can't wait to give my blessings to them. It's also a good time to catch up with friends whom I lost touch with. And due to this, I'll be missing out on the rave happening in KL Tower. M not keen to stretch extra muscle for I'm weak in my knees. I rather be sitting on the patio or sipping juice from Starbucks with my trusty laptop =). Yup I finally own a laptop!! Not a pretty high-end 1, but decent enough to host my Heroes series and camwhoring pics.
If you observe clearly, I've actually lost weight in recent weeks. I managed to shed the tummy due to appetite lost and I'm hoping to gain it back by munching down Italian food. So anyone who's interested for pasta, or pizza, do cal me yea ! I need CHHEEEEESEEEEEEEEE!
I just stared blankly on this screen for mere 5 minutes and nothing seem to come out. Next time, cya
A big shout out to Lee Tze Vern " Happy Birthday Yo!!! Been a great 6 years of friendship , SEe ya real soon!"
I have been awfully lazy nowadays and yes you don't have to remind me.
Life's good, at least for me and no complains yet, i hope.
My new found colleagues have been nothing but amazing. Click so well the time is so insignificant. I hope it last for a very long time. M stuck between a fine line between principles and reality. It's really giving me a big headache and I know it's a dead end. I hope something pops up and shed some light to guide a lost soul from walking blindly to a garden of rose. You know those moments when everything feels just right, nothing more nothing less, perfectly time but you know that the outcome will just be another sunset. Distinctively beautiful and can't hold on to.
I'll just sleep with it.
Weekend's gonna be great. M going to attend a friend's wedding of same age. My first time, and can't wait to give my blessings to them. It's also a good time to catch up with friends whom I lost touch with. And due to this, I'll be missing out on the rave happening in KL Tower. M not keen to stretch extra muscle for I'm weak in my knees. I rather be sitting on the patio or sipping juice from Starbucks with my trusty laptop =). Yup I finally own a laptop!! Not a pretty high-end 1, but decent enough to host my Heroes series and camwhoring pics.
If you observe clearly, I've actually lost weight in recent weeks. I managed to shed the tummy due to appetite lost and I'm hoping to gain it back by munching down Italian food. So anyone who's interested for pasta, or pizza, do cal me yea ! I need CHHEEEEESEEEEEEEEE!
I just stared blankly on this screen for mere 5 minutes and nothing seem to come out. Next time, cya
A big shout out to Lee Tze Vern " Happy Birthday Yo!!! Been a great 6 years of friendship , SEe ya real soon!"
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Thursday, March 08, 2007
So long so wrong.
Do you see cobwebs?
Imaginary, i do. I'm a lazy ass bastard who has given up on writing. Not permanently. You know, just waiting to get back the passion. The one I had before died together when the door was shut, the key dropped in the sea of confussion.
Life's been good so far. Alot of suprises and I seem to like the mundane commitment now. Work's great, no complains yet and the bunch of people in the office are just easy to hang out with.
I had wild nights of insomnia lately and tonight is one of those days where I can't seem to be able to fall asleep. I've watched two sappy romantic flicks back to back hoping that it would bore me to sleep, driven to the wall by an irritating mosquitoe and annoyed with the constant motor noise caused by the air-cond.Somehow, I just couldn't fall into slumber mode. So that's why I've decided to be here.
For a span of two weeks, I have been absorbing quite an amount of both fruitful and not so fruitful events. We all lose our head and snap at people, sometimes, unconditionally and unintentionally without realizing the consequences of such impact. Forgive and forget, that's what we do after such occurance. Morally speaking, to lay hand on another person, what more a female is pathetic. An argument can spark instantaneously when the mind is not in the right state and needless to say there's no law stating the rights and wrongs of being a human being. But understand that we live in a civilize society, and we crosspath with peer pressure. I may not understand what you are going through but as a childhood friend, I understand the feeling of being cornered, neglected and helpless. I've been through those shit in life and it's way much better living in hell. My point is, there's always someone who would sit down and have a cup of coffee with you , drilling down the core of the problem so you don't have to go through it alone. I hope I've send you a clear message of what friendship actually means in words because I know if I would have say it straight to your face, it would only sounded more like rubbish. I hope things work out for you and her.
More to come soon , and if you're feeling 'spongy' KIV. I have alot to share, just very little time.
toodles.
Vips' on the deck with the 'cup' =) .
Imaginary, i do. I'm a lazy ass bastard who has given up on writing. Not permanently. You know, just waiting to get back the passion. The one I had before died together when the door was shut, the key dropped in the sea of confussion.
Life's been good so far. Alot of suprises and I seem to like the mundane commitment now. Work's great, no complains yet and the bunch of people in the office are just easy to hang out with.
I had wild nights of insomnia lately and tonight is one of those days where I can't seem to be able to fall asleep. I've watched two sappy romantic flicks back to back hoping that it would bore me to sleep, driven to the wall by an irritating mosquitoe and annoyed with the constant motor noise caused by the air-cond.Somehow, I just couldn't fall into slumber mode. So that's why I've decided to be here.
For a span of two weeks, I have been absorbing quite an amount of both fruitful and not so fruitful events. We all lose our head and snap at people, sometimes, unconditionally and unintentionally without realizing the consequences of such impact. Forgive and forget, that's what we do after such occurance. Morally speaking, to lay hand on another person, what more a female is pathetic. An argument can spark instantaneously when the mind is not in the right state and needless to say there's no law stating the rights and wrongs of being a human being. But understand that we live in a civilize society, and we crosspath with peer pressure. I may not understand what you are going through but as a childhood friend, I understand the feeling of being cornered, neglected and helpless. I've been through those shit in life and it's way much better living in hell. My point is, there's always someone who would sit down and have a cup of coffee with you , drilling down the core of the problem so you don't have to go through it alone. I hope I've send you a clear message of what friendship actually means in words because I know if I would have say it straight to your face, it would only sounded more like rubbish. I hope things work out for you and her.
More to come soon , and if you're feeling 'spongy' KIV. I have alot to share, just very little time.
toodles.
Vips' on the deck with the 'cup' =) .
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