As if it's telling me something. A signal perhaps? It all begin after the silence goodbye. The occurence of her in 2 dreams out of 2 sleep is such a rare sight. Oh, how i wanted to tell her, how i wished she knew, the things i said, the gestures she made, the laugh we had, the conversation that mends the crack. It was such a pleasent dream, at least for me. I never wanted to open my eyes because i was so deeply indulged into that faithfull dream. She looked like an angel to me. Always cheerful, and smiling broadly like she had hit the lottery. I was paying so attentive to her that i even forgotten about myself and the people around me.
A ring on my cellphone shatters that precious moment. =.=" ! I woke up, staring at the ceiling, contemplating on why do i dream about her again? It was 9pm when i turn on my monitor and to my surprise, There she was! Online at the very moment! The only thing that stopped me from saying "hello" was the fact that i think she's too occupied with her other friends. And that i might be disturbing her in one way, and that she might not want to talk with me cos i'm a jerk. It really is demotivating. Don't ever be like me. A dream that can't be told is like sticking a 5 inch knife through ur heart. That's how i felt at the moment. Ok, so i decided to released myself and stop thinking of her in a game of futsal.
10pm, futsal game; houjin called for a futsal match with some of his friends. The ankle injury i had for the past 2 weeks still hurts whenever i kick the ball =(. I guess by the time i'm 30 my leg will prolly be as weak as a wet stick. Anyway, the game was nice. Got to show some skills *winkwink* that made the opponent stood helpless.Owned !
11.30pm, hungry; went for dinner at Asia Cafe, and after that, ended up in friend's place to watch Futurama! Bender rocks =P "I am bender, please insert girder" Still made me smile..
Spent my time till 5.30am in the morning and when i reach home, there she was again.! ! ! but this time, she's away.
Yup, that's how i ended up writing meaningless stuffs again so early in the morning. Birds chirping already....time to doze off once more...will i dream again?
god knows...i hope
Saturday, April 16, 2005
Thursday, April 14, 2005
The Hello...
Woke up by the sound of raindrops. Started reading back again. Yes its not a joke, im READING! The only book that caught my interest was "Da Vinci Code" and i finally got it, thanks kensei. Though i cant seem to find the rythm to read more than 2 chapters >.<. I'll try i'll try.
Yesterday was browsing through some old songs and i didnt realize that i had this heart moving song by Switchfoot - On Fire. Amazing! This song channels so much emotion and yet the simplicity of this song make it sounds unique. It gave me the courage to once again say hello. It was no ordinary hello, mind you. I tried so many freaking times but in no vain, it failed. Anyway it was a dull and boring conversation and i felt that i lost my touch in talking. There wasn't anything that we could talk about and most of the time it was me who talks. It feels as if im answering myself. Maybe it was boring and senseless in one way. Who can blame me , just being friendly and trying not to offend anyone.Oh well, it sure pays off being a jerk once. You know what i learnt so far?
There's no room for apologies for one mistake that you wished it didnt happen. Only one. That's all it takes to ruin a friendship, trust and commitment. Time will not heal. No words are comforting enough. You just have to move on or perhaps, wait for someone else to come along.
Oh well, hope today will be a better day than before. Nothing last forever. Forever is a lie. Remember, the only time that matters is what happens between "Hello" and "Goodbye".
goodday.
Yesterday was browsing through some old songs and i didnt realize that i had this heart moving song by Switchfoot - On Fire. Amazing! This song channels so much emotion and yet the simplicity of this song make it sounds unique. It gave me the courage to once again say hello. It was no ordinary hello, mind you. I tried so many freaking times but in no vain, it failed. Anyway it was a dull and boring conversation and i felt that i lost my touch in talking. There wasn't anything that we could talk about and most of the time it was me who talks. It feels as if im answering myself. Maybe it was boring and senseless in one way. Who can blame me , just being friendly and trying not to offend anyone.Oh well, it sure pays off being a jerk once. You know what i learnt so far?
There's no room for apologies for one mistake that you wished it didnt happen. Only one. That's all it takes to ruin a friendship, trust and commitment. Time will not heal. No words are comforting enough. You just have to move on or perhaps, wait for someone else to come along.
Oh well, hope today will be a better day than before. Nothing last forever. Forever is a lie. Remember, the only time that matters is what happens between "Hello" and "Goodbye".
goodday.
Saturday, April 09, 2005
The story so far..
Well well, looks who's back again with stories that bores and facts about life that who gives a shit.
Hmm, lets see what i ve done in these past months. Couldnt recall any benefitial things i did, but fortunately i do have some memorable moments. It was a month ago, during the "highly anticipated" Zouk fest in genting. Don't get too hyped about it, that event sucks! Honestly, i didn't enjoyed it as much as i did the previous year. Maybe it's because we went in late due to unforseen reasons. Haih , friendship was put to a test and it seems that some people are just weird? Back to the fest, the queue suckS! the crowd sucks! the organiser suxks! thank god the chicks were OK =P.
Thats the only credit i have in mind.
I was stuck in the queue to the 1st entrance for around 1 hour. Imagine a sea of crowd beside the gents toilet...GOsh it was awful..Lucky for me, there's this brazilian chick standing next to me.. AJAJAJAJA! She kept complaining someone grope her ass ...awww, bad malaysian citizen.( Hey, it wasnt me !) I just smile at her =) and ask her to move closer to her friends. Anyway, to jump into conclusion, it still SUCKS! Should have visited uncle Lim instead.
The week after, tek drag me to a shuffle event in ORANGE. It opened my eyes the moment music started playing. Guys and girls with glowing phat pants , powderly smooth floor and the beat that keeps on going. Shuffling ROCKS! now that's what i call party!! Met Hayden and in case u guys dunno who he is, "he's the man"! The man who started it all, shuffle for life!
Back to reality, still unemployed at age 23 this year. What happen to my dream of earning my first 200k by the age of 30. Gone with the wind. I need to get a stable job soon! Help meeeee . Cash running low, motivation running low, everything running low. I need inspiration! Hopefully what i applied would come back to me with a job offering ..*prays*
However,whatever happen in these past few months in my life is insignificant compare to the events that happen around the world. 2nd earthquake that shook Indonesia again, and the sudden death of Pope John Paul II shocked the world. He was a great figure , a leader, and i think its a great loss to human civilization. I hoped to meet him 1 day though im not a Christian.
April month excites me in 1 way, and in the other , it kills the inner me. Celebrating my dad's birthday today! Woohoo go DAD! Sorry to have cause worries and make ur life miserable. My bro and i got a card for him. Yes, it's been cards and cards year after year. Hopefully he doesn;t mind , moreover, it's the thoughts that counts rite?
Well, i guess that's all to blog , im hungry, dirty and unsatisfied! I wan my hair back!!!! It's sso short now, i look like "chi hua hua". Dinner and soccer. Be back for more!
Hmm, lets see what i ve done in these past months. Couldnt recall any benefitial things i did, but fortunately i do have some memorable moments. It was a month ago, during the "highly anticipated" Zouk fest in genting. Don't get too hyped about it, that event sucks! Honestly, i didn't enjoyed it as much as i did the previous year. Maybe it's because we went in late due to unforseen reasons. Haih , friendship was put to a test and it seems that some people are just weird? Back to the fest, the queue suckS! the crowd sucks! the organiser suxks! thank god the chicks were OK =P.
Thats the only credit i have in mind.
I was stuck in the queue to the 1st entrance for around 1 hour. Imagine a sea of crowd beside the gents toilet...GOsh it was awful..Lucky for me, there's this brazilian chick standing next to me.. AJAJAJAJA! She kept complaining someone grope her ass ...awww, bad malaysian citizen.( Hey, it wasnt me !) I just smile at her =) and ask her to move closer to her friends. Anyway, to jump into conclusion, it still SUCKS! Should have visited uncle Lim instead.
The week after, tek drag me to a shuffle event in ORANGE. It opened my eyes the moment music started playing. Guys and girls with glowing phat pants , powderly smooth floor and the beat that keeps on going. Shuffling ROCKS! now that's what i call party!! Met Hayden and in case u guys dunno who he is, "he's the man"! The man who started it all, shuffle for life!
Back to reality, still unemployed at age 23 this year. What happen to my dream of earning my first 200k by the age of 30. Gone with the wind. I need to get a stable job soon! Help meeeee . Cash running low, motivation running low, everything running low. I need inspiration! Hopefully what i applied would come back to me with a job offering ..*prays*
However,whatever happen in these past few months in my life is insignificant compare to the events that happen around the world. 2nd earthquake that shook Indonesia again, and the sudden death of Pope John Paul II shocked the world. He was a great figure , a leader, and i think its a great loss to human civilization. I hoped to meet him 1 day though im not a Christian.
April month excites me in 1 way, and in the other , it kills the inner me. Celebrating my dad's birthday today! Woohoo go DAD! Sorry to have cause worries and make ur life miserable. My bro and i got a card for him. Yes, it's been cards and cards year after year. Hopefully he doesn;t mind , moreover, it's the thoughts that counts rite?
Well, i guess that's all to blog , im hungry, dirty and unsatisfied! I wan my hair back!!!! It's sso short now, i look like "chi hua hua". Dinner and soccer. Be back for more!
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