Yay I'm back from a brief vacation in PD and it was really nice. Could have been better but I'm still satisfied with the presence of non-stop fun and excitement =)
Although at times, i seem to isolate myself from the crowd and for you who didnt notice and did, I'm really sorry. I used to be a bubbly chap during trip and making silly jokes but this one was different i suppose. It wasn't intentional I swear, and I didn't made my silence unnoticed.
I was baffled by the truth of being where i am right now. I'm incapable of making decisions and like many times, i try to get untangled from this web of illusion. Who am I kidding anyway, to fall in love again?
I was browsing through my list on MSN and there was this quote by a friend which really hit me.
"If holding on is as hard as letting go, which would you choose?"
Honestly i will choose to hold on. Because no matter how hard it has turn to, it's always harder for her, and all you can do is hope one day she'll realise your sincerity. By holding on means you'll stick with her through thick and thin, ignoring the negative points and accepting who she is. I presume, that's the least you can do to make someone happy.
Continuosly thinking about it, i get vivid pictures of you in my head and having that tiny moment was enough to force a smile on my face. I'm not a fortune teller who can predicts the future, or a mind reader who can encrypt a person's mind, I'm just an ordinary boy who falls for a girl and not knowing what to do.
I never made my intentions clear and I believe some things are better left unsaid. I'll just wait for the rain to come and wash away my pain. We live in a country where rain do come very often, so I guess it's ok to sulk once in a while. If it doesn't rain, don't worry, I'll sleep it off and wake up to a better morning ;) I hope.
Have a nice weekend everyone.
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
Blurry
The ever insecure mind has struck again.
Stuck between choices which was not meant to be in the first place.
Deciding whether to move abroad or to stay afloat
Hoping to still be in one piece when i walk out from this mess.
Sometimes I hate the me in me.
I never had the guts to be strong
Slowly it eats up my confidence
and buries my face in a six feet hole.
----------------------------------
A few days more till my escapade
My only time alone in nature's best gift
The beach !
I look forward to the sunset
The sinking feeling between the sands
and not the
The polluted sea water
or
The disguise breeze covered in haze
I hope it's gonna be a fine fine evening. Clear skies and good company.
A perfect match, a perfect getaway !
Stuck between choices which was not meant to be in the first place.
Deciding whether to move abroad or to stay afloat
Hoping to still be in one piece when i walk out from this mess.
Sometimes I hate the me in me.
I never had the guts to be strong
Slowly it eats up my confidence
and buries my face in a six feet hole.
----------------------------------
A few days more till my escapade
My only time alone in nature's best gift
The beach !
I look forward to the sunset
The sinking feeling between the sands
and not the
The polluted sea water
or
The disguise breeze covered in haze
I hope it's gonna be a fine fine evening. Clear skies and good company.
A perfect match, a perfect getaway !
Saturday, October 14, 2006
Intuition
I believe movies are made in such a way that it leaves a footprint in your heart. Some movies can make an impact so huge it changes a person's perception towards life.
Just the other day, i finally managed to watch "The break-up" and i'm no different from every other person who watched it, I actually hoped for a happy ending. Boy, i was so wrong.
That show made me realize there is no guarantee in this world. There's no such thing as a perfect couple or match made in heaven. It's hard to believe coming from a person who believes in love at first sight, but the reality is a harsh thing to deal with.
Who wouldn't one to have a soul mate to live happily ever after with, but only a handful succeeded in finding them. You can't basically look for them in the corner of the streets or strangers whom sat next to you during your train ride home.
MAybe love just come knocking on your door when you least expect it to be. And maybe it's up to you to make the best our of it? Who knows, it's just another worthless theory.
As for me, I'm not sure where to stand right now. Whether to believe or not to believe, because the only thing that makes me believe is you.
Just the other day, i finally managed to watch "The break-up" and i'm no different from every other person who watched it, I actually hoped for a happy ending. Boy, i was so wrong.
That show made me realize there is no guarantee in this world. There's no such thing as a perfect couple or match made in heaven. It's hard to believe coming from a person who believes in love at first sight, but the reality is a harsh thing to deal with.
Who wouldn't one to have a soul mate to live happily ever after with, but only a handful succeeded in finding them. You can't basically look for them in the corner of the streets or strangers whom sat next to you during your train ride home.
MAybe love just come knocking on your door when you least expect it to be. And maybe it's up to you to make the best our of it? Who knows, it's just another worthless theory.
As for me, I'm not sure where to stand right now. Whether to believe or not to believe, because the only thing that makes me believe is you.
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Buses
I was granted wings when i barely knew how to walk.
Decided to keep my wings and walk instead...
I didnt knew where I was going but it was indeed a long road. Not complaining at all cos somehow I enjoy the moment alone.
Along the way, there were nice samaritans who stopped and ask whether i needed a lift. I decline gladly because it wasn't time yet.
Everything looks foreign when you have noone to share it with.
So I finally i decided to stop and wait for the right bus to come along. Fortunately, it didn't took long and the bus i boarded was what I had dreamt off all the time.
Comfy, secure, relaxed and best of all, it was going the right direction. Needless to say, it was one of the time of my life. My legs are worned out and i badly need something to rely on to take me further.
Whilst I was in the bus, it went through seasons of rain and sunlight, been through bumpy roads and long winding pathways.
Just as I began to feel attached to it, the bus driver decided to drop me off. I was devastated because i knew i had to walk again. Wasn't given any valid reason, so I was left hanging.
Once again, I was left to use my tired legs to continue my search. For 5 long years, I've never once boarded another bus again because I knew, it will never be the same bus that I've been on before.
I was wrong. I saw the same bus that i boarded before right in front of my eyes and didnt flag it down.
I began my chase. and thankfully the bus stopped and pick me up. I sat down on the chair and began to feel at ease. Somewhat feeling that I've experienced before. The ambience and interior looks the same like it has never changed since i last recall.
Then it hit me, it's a completely different bus but the exact resemblence to the previous 1.
I smiled and doze off, hoping that it will bring me to where I'm supposed to be.
Decided to keep my wings and walk instead...
I didnt knew where I was going but it was indeed a long road. Not complaining at all cos somehow I enjoy the moment alone.
Along the way, there were nice samaritans who stopped and ask whether i needed a lift. I decline gladly because it wasn't time yet.
Everything looks foreign when you have noone to share it with.
So I finally i decided to stop and wait for the right bus to come along. Fortunately, it didn't took long and the bus i boarded was what I had dreamt off all the time.
Comfy, secure, relaxed and best of all, it was going the right direction. Needless to say, it was one of the time of my life. My legs are worned out and i badly need something to rely on to take me further.
Whilst I was in the bus, it went through seasons of rain and sunlight, been through bumpy roads and long winding pathways.
Just as I began to feel attached to it, the bus driver decided to drop me off. I was devastated because i knew i had to walk again. Wasn't given any valid reason, so I was left hanging.
Once again, I was left to use my tired legs to continue my search. For 5 long years, I've never once boarded another bus again because I knew, it will never be the same bus that I've been on before.
I was wrong. I saw the same bus that i boarded before right in front of my eyes and didnt flag it down.
I began my chase. and thankfully the bus stopped and pick me up. I sat down on the chair and began to feel at ease. Somewhat feeling that I've experienced before. The ambience and interior looks the same like it has never changed since i last recall.
Then it hit me, it's a completely different bus but the exact resemblence to the previous 1.
I smiled and doze off, hoping that it will bring me to where I'm supposed to be.
Saturday, October 07, 2006
Been awhile...
Great to know that things are slowly falling into thier respective places. I'm so glad that the turbulence days are finally coming to an end. At least for momentarily.
Job is good, could have been worse. I've learned to live with it and it makes me a stronger person. Though, i'm not staying for long cos i don't enjoy what I'm doing. Especially when people screw u up at the very last minute and it wasn't entirely your fault. It get's depressing when you actually think of the nature of the work.
JAck the devil is finally back from the land of sheeps. Weeee! I sense much sins are on their way >;)
I am guilt-ridden from my previous antics of living in the shadow of alcohol weekly. So it's been awhile since my last sip and it starts to pay off cos i have more money for food ! Haha
Talking about food, the last time I weighed myself was back in April and back then it was 63 kg.
Now, i dare not step foot on the weighing machine again because ever since i found out that I am 7kg heavier, i wonder where did all the food add up to?? I don't look plump thank god for that, but the fact that every night of pounding on to supper and the lack of exercise really creeps me out of what i may become in the future. I don't want to be called a fatty =(
And Hell no i'm cutting down on food. I'll just continue eating till I realize that I don't have a neck,then I'll start applying for gym >.<
It was mid-autumn festival yesterday, and I somehow did something different compare to the previous years. Everyone deserves to celebrate it despite the heavy workload of assignments =)
Besides, it's the only day that you can actually lid a lantern and walk on the street without being catch by police . hehe
At the end of the day, I'm glad it brought smile to your face.
Who needs the moon when you can see someone else smiling? =)
Job is good, could have been worse. I've learned to live with it and it makes me a stronger person. Though, i'm not staying for long cos i don't enjoy what I'm doing. Especially when people screw u up at the very last minute and it wasn't entirely your fault. It get's depressing when you actually think of the nature of the work.
JAck the devil is finally back from the land of sheeps. Weeee! I sense much sins are on their way >;)
I am guilt-ridden from my previous antics of living in the shadow of alcohol weekly. So it's been awhile since my last sip and it starts to pay off cos i have more money for food ! Haha
Talking about food, the last time I weighed myself was back in April and back then it was 63 kg.
Now, i dare not step foot on the weighing machine again because ever since i found out that I am 7kg heavier, i wonder where did all the food add up to?? I don't look plump thank god for that, but the fact that every night of pounding on to supper and the lack of exercise really creeps me out of what i may become in the future. I don't want to be called a fatty =(
And Hell no i'm cutting down on food. I'll just continue eating till I realize that I don't have a neck,then I'll start applying for gym >.<
It was mid-autumn festival yesterday, and I somehow did something different compare to the previous years. Everyone deserves to celebrate it despite the heavy workload of assignments =)
Besides, it's the only day that you can actually lid a lantern and walk on the street without being catch by police . hehe
At the end of the day, I'm glad it brought smile to your face.
Who needs the moon when you can see someone else smiling? =)
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