Believing

A day before , for 6 years i was not the man i used to be.
The lingering thoughts of regret kept playing like a broken record.
Not till recently when the weight was lifted and if you were to guess it, it would be her.

So like many years before, i took the initiative to drop a wishful message on her big day and as usual, she would say thanks.

These year however, took a twist.
It made me smile for i know that at least my thoughtful actions ended up somewhere.

I realized that i'm filled with emotions lately, and the very least i know i'm walking on a steady ground and what im actually dealing with. I have needs and the hunger that drives me to achieve this needs are beyond words that i contradict myself most of the time.

The good thing is im opening up now,one thing i find hard to do for a long time. I've been spilling out skeletons in my closet to one person I wish i knew earlier. I know she wont agree with me on this and time isn't the best thing to look forward to.

Everyday, i kept reminding myself how lucky i am to have my family, my bros, my friends and recently that person who made me realise what i've been missing out.

I guess It's never too late to start believing.

Many of u who knew me would know that sometimes i drift away. I drift away from the things i love because i know and learn that nothing is permanent. I try not to get attached to things i love solely because i know i will be deeply scarred if i were to lose it.
A minor slip, a mistake, whatever, i will not feel the same again because deep down i do care. Very hard to please am I?

When i said don't treat me so nice, i actually meant i'm scared. im afraid of changes, im afraid to lose the thing that made me believe i had a purpose the next morning. It made me a dysfunctional creepy person. I'm sure i made alot of girls ran away because of this. Honestly, nothing to be proud of here.

Yea, and if you're having a rough day, try looking at a sleeping baby. Suprisingly, it keeps the mind calm.
Works for me .