The truth..

Weekend flew so fast i almost forgot what i did.

It's a public holiday today, i hardly had enough sleep due to the fact that i was pretty much in a fucked up state last night. Mambo messes my brain up. Thanks for the bottom's up guys.

My eye still sores. The eye drops doesnt help much. I wonder why. Aren't doctor supposed to give you something to ease the pain? Fuck.

Nothing hurts as much as seeing someone you love walking away from your life. It feels just like being hit by a bus. Straight in the face. BAM! Girls who tell you they like gentlemen are nothing but bullshit. In my honest opinion; that is.

By the sound of it, yea things started to get real messy again for the 32423748 times. I'm so fucking confused about the whole thing i feel like giving up sometimes. Am i just a piece of toy you meddle with when you feel lonely and chuck it away if you have friends around? Always blaming me for not understanding you, but did you understand me in the first place?

Fuck. You know you can't clap with 1 hand. We did everything your way. I brought my ego so low to the feet just to make you feel happy.It's not me i can tell you that. Am I not that important to you at all? Am I? What am i in the first place?

You tell me.

Yea maybe you have your own reasons. I respected you on that. But did i ever questioned your doubts?

There are things that should be said and not to be said. Maybe is your nature to tell me about who you went out with, how rich they are, or how good looking they might be.
If a person likes you so much, who wants to build new memories with you, and you tell them how good the previous 1 was, imagine how you would feel?

The hope is totally lost.

Seriously, do you hear anything from me mentioning about my ex? The past is the past. Live on with it.

Yesterday night you drop a bomb shell on me. You have no idea how much i wanted to see you. How I was counting the time before i get to see your face. I went off early just to catch you, hoping that you would still be in office and not too late for you to meet your friends in Hartamas later on after that.

Too bad for me. Your friends are much more important. All i'm left from you is the photo i kept in the car.

I guess that was it. My hope turns to bits and pieces. I drove home alone and went to bed. Thinking. Thinking what i did wrong to deserve a treatment like this. Then i remembered you saying "Don't put too much hope, don't treat me so nice, i scared i might break your heart one day".

That "one day" was yesterday night.

It tears my heart to have those words playing in my head.

You don't know how much i loved you.

You just don't know...