No ending

I just found out something from my work place.

They had remote access to all the computers. So, if I'm really really unlucky, they are actually looking at what I'm typing in my blog.

HELLO ADMINS !! YOU GUYS SUXK!!!!KISS MY CHINESE WHITE ASS!! LALALA

One of my colleague got fired yesterday for breaching the company's policy. She failed big time man. Let's not go into it, but what she did was really extreme. =.="

I've been snoozing in the office nowadays and it's getting out of hand. Everytime i kept reminding myself to stay awake but most of the time it failed badly. Try coming to work at 5am with the office lights all off.

So tempting to oi oi leh.

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There's been few "What if" questions playing repetitively on my mind recently and I'm feeling really paranoid about the whole thing.

What if I quit this job now ?
What's really bothering me
-I'll be jobless . No income, no savings. Just rot at home and waiting for vultures to feed on my kutus. I don't want to sit at home with no moolah coming in.

What I intend to do
-Handing out several application form by the end of this month, my leave has approved for 10 days nearing the end of August. I just pray lar, I get what I want during that period of time.

Worst scenario
-Stay back and work my ass off on a 8.5 hours job =*(

This is the main concern right now. My career path. Others are just tiny mini personal stuffs which I don't intend to write it down.
Eventually, it will just fly off together with the wind.

Which is worse? ;
unable to express? or expressing at the wrong time?

Letting go has been very difficult. I've been holding on for something that has no ending. I didn't let go because I had faith in you. Until i realize I'm just walking on a blind path. All these while , I wanted to tell you it was a misunderstanding,and that maybe one day, against all odds, we can be together once more.

I hate being emo.

I wasn't like this before I met you.

Why did I turn out this way?

Haih.