Life after Hope

Usually, a good movie is often judge by the ending.
Or how a reader tells if it's a good book by reading the last chapter.

Closure.

To end things in a good note. To move on. The closure in life are often left unnoticed living a huge scar behind , waiting for time to heal the wound and hoping for a miracle that one day go back to where it all started out, the past.

I was diliberately blinded by the fact that it wasn't over, that somehow one day in the tiniest percentage of humanity that I still stand a chance.I guess that's why I still held on to it. I should have seen it coming a long long time ago. Should have clarify my credential and made everything crystal clear and full stop. No turning back.

Not anymore.
I've gathered enough courage to ask what actually happened. I needed to know. And most importantly, I needed to move on. She gave a very logical explanation that we were still young and naive back then and she didn't actually knew what love is until after college. I just told her that some people don't even know what love is right till today; and I think it's so very true.

I felt relieved , partly sad, but mostly relieved that the weight I had in my heart is lifted upon years of holding back my thoughts about the x. I never felt such boost of confidence before in my life. You know how surfacing from water feels? It's great, dealing with your fear , knowing the truth and although it hurts sometime, it's not as bad as keeping it to yourself.

I ask myself , "what's next?"

Swim my boy, just go with the flow.