Ponder Wonder ~

Another breezy saturday morning with no watsoever plans ahead of me.I've been focusing alot lately, and no its not about my studies BUT what lies ahead of it...In the next couple of months, i'm finally free from the "student life". It's been a wonderful 15 years of studying experience, and now its time to grow up! and live like an adult. No more last minute studying, and let exams be bygone.Closed.The life of a student has finally reached its conclusion.

Somehow, i'm not happy about it.I just dont know why.Maybe im scared of what will gonna happen next.Not to mention the constant nagging to get a job as quickly as possible from my parents as soon as i completed my degree. That is just a side effect, the real scenario is "Where will i be heading next?" . Thinking of it just blow my mind away. I'm facing a dillema as the days passes and there isn't anyone around to help me. It's like a path without a light. And seriously, i dont think that i'm going into the field that im majoring in college.I just don't have the interest anymore. Telling this to my parents will just shatter their dreams, and i'm deeply sorry for it.So, telling my parents that i'm stuck at the moment is a no-no.

Where can i seek motivation? I'm desperately seeking for something that will make an impact on me. I need somekind of goals that would change my life in one way and doesnt dissapoint my love ones on the other hand.A plan that will move me from this boring and 'doing the same old thing everyday' life. I envy those people who planned so nicely for their future. They know what they want and they are trying so hard to achieve it. For me, there's nothing planned yet, and it feels so bloody miserable.

Everytime i yumcha, my friends will talk about it.Talking about their future...and i think, at 22, i'm yet to achieve anything!!! Soon enough, ill be in my mid-20s, getting my own car, own apartment, married with children and yadabayadaba, but those are just mere illusion of my life. Nothing is concrete yet. I can't predict the future, and hopefully as time goes by, i'll have a clearer picture of what i need to do. Right now, i think i need to stay focus! Finding the right path is crucial and I'm hoping that my friends and family will be right beside me whenever i need to make a decision. At the mean time, i just hope to be happy. And so do the people around me.

peace.

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